


Irrational

by osterac1999



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Also boyf riends can be read as platonic or romantic, Anxiety Disorder, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, M/M, Since friends can say I love you too, What Jeremy's experiencing is a symptom of GAD and I FEEL it on a personal level
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-24
Updated: 2017-06-24
Packaged: 2018-11-17 05:51:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11269248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/osterac1999/pseuds/osterac1999
Summary: Jeremy had been irrationally angry all day, but not at the world or at some random object. Instead, he seemed to be angry at almost everyone around him. He couldn't stop the aggravation he felt, and he could barely stop himself from snapping at everyone around him. Today, like some others this year, was not going to be a good day to him at all.





	Irrational

Jeremy had been irrationally angry all day, but not at the world or at some random object. Instead, he seemed to be angry at almost everyone around him. He couldn't stop the aggravation he felt, and he could barely stop himself from snapping at everyone around him. Today, like some others this year, was not going to be a good day to him at all.  
 His morning had even started out especially normal, and it was one of those rare days that he woke up and _wasn't_ completely drowned in tiredness. Even Michael could tell when he came to pick him up, with an illegally adorable smile on his face. Michael might have been the only person Jeremy could never actually be angry with.  
 The second he stepped into class and everyone started talking at once, though, he realized that maybe _something_ was playing a prank on him. Making him think today would be good-before he was slammed with anger. Everyone's talking just ate up his patience until he felt like he was going to burst. The second before he was going to start chucking chairs at people's heads, the bell rang. Jeremy felt momentary relief before he remembered that he had seven more periods to go  
 Fuck.

 

The next three periods before lunch could only be described as Hell. Hell, because there would be fleeting moments of call before _someone's_ voice would grate against his nerves. Half of these people didn't even _know_ Jeremy on a personal level, and he felt so _bad_ that he wanted to fucking kill them all.  
 Okay. Maybe killing them would be a tad overdramatic. But it felt like he was a ticking time bomb about to explode and he couldn't _take it any longer_.  
 Deep breaths. Lunch should be better, right?  
 (Past experience says no, it'll be one-hundred times worse.)  
 Maybe he could ask Michael to just get him out of there?  
 (And make him suffer through his shit mood? Try again, buddy.)  
 Well, Michael's always been a sort of beacon of calm for him so it should be fine, right?  
 (Crickets.)  
 Shaking his head, Jeremy moved into the cafeteria and almost walked right back out at just the sheer noise of it all. Deep breaths. You can suffer for thirty minutes. Definitely.  
 Who the _fuck_ was he kidding? Certainly not himself.  
  _You can do this,_ he thought. _Just go in there and act like everything's fine. Because it is. Definitely._ Fine _._  
 He walked to the group's designated table and sat down, resigning himself to not eating anything and just focusing on holding back his slowly rising anger. This worked for all of ten minutes, which consisted of seemingly louder than usual yelling from the group. Even Christine was getting on his nerves, and he considered her a close friend. Rich and Jake were loudly joking about something, and it was slowly involving the whole cast of friends.  
 (Where was Michael?)  
 "Jeremy, are you okay?" A voice cut him from his thoughts. He looked up and saw Christine staring at him, worry evident on her face. He _really_ couldn't handle anything right now.  
 "Oh, uh...yeah, I'm fine. I'm just...thinking, is all." He responded quickly, with his best straight face, hoping she would just let it drop.  
 She brightened up almost instantly at his words. "Ooh, what about? I've been meaning to tell you about this new play I watched last weekend, but we've all been _so busy_ , you know?"  
 Normally, Jeremy appreciated Christine's incessant chatter. She was adorable when she talked about things she loved. But...Jeremy just couldn't deal with it today. _Any_ of it. Throughout her explanation of the play, he had to almost physically restrain himself from snapping at all of them. He felt terrible for wishing them all to shut up, but he couldn't ignore his aggravation any longer. Why did today have to be one of his worse ones?  
 When he felt himself about to snap for a second time, he felt a solid (and familiar) hand on his shoulder. He quickly turned to look at his best friend, Michael. He was so relieved that he almost let his mask slip.  
 One look at Michael's concerned face told him he completely understood what was going through Jeremy's head. He released his shoulder briefly to grab Christine's, effectively cutting off her rant.  
 "Oh, hey, Michael! How are you? Why were you so late today?" Her rapid fire questions didn't even phase him. The entire group turned to greet Michael when they noticed his presence.  
 "My teacher decided today would be a great day for presentations and I got stuck presenting last." Michael rubbed his eyes, pushing his glasses up on his face, and sighed. "Hey, do you guys mind if Jeremy and me go sit by ourselves today? I'm really not feeling the whole social scene, if you catch my drift."  
 Everyone nodded solemnly, remembering when Michael had shared with them about his anxiety disorder and the general overstimulation he felt when around huge crowds (like a lunch room, for example). Realizing Michael was taking a bullet for him, Jeremy quickly stood up and grabbed his backpack.  
 The rest of the group quickly said their goodbyes before Jeremy and Michael were off. While they were walking to a relatively secluded corner of the cafeteria, Michael grabbed his hand and held it, not even stopping when they sat down by themselves.  
 Once Jeremy felt that no one was watching (or judging him), he let his mask drop and displayed the absolute _exhaustion_ he felt. There was an accurate word to describe the amount of relief he felt once he was alone with Michael.  
 He always seemed to know when Jeremy was in a mood or feeling generally terrible, and for that he was immensely grateful. Michael was never one of the people this...irrational anger ever included. He was always a soft beacon of calm for him.  
 Michael quickly looked over Jeremy and seemed to make a decision. Without a moment's hesitation, he whipped off his hoodie and practically wrestled it onto Jeremy.  
 "Michael...you don't have to give me your hoodie. I know how much it helps you get through the day." He almost felt guilty for taking the hood, but also almost felt guilty for refusing it.  
 "Well, duh, you do. We've been best friends since forever." Michael gave him a soft smile, which he responded to in kind. "But that _also_ means that I know when you need things. Like my hoodie, for instance. I know it helps you calm down and focus on the present."  
 Jeremy...really couldn't deny anything Michael said. They knew each other too well.  
 "Okay, so, what's going on? Is it another one of those-what did you call them?-irrational anger days?" The concerned look on his face returned.  
 He took a second to respond, basking in Michael's concern. He _loved_ his best friend so much. "Yeah." He said, short and simple. The next things he said were anything but. "It's just been getting worse all day, and I feel so _horrible_ because these are our friends and I shouldn't be mad at them for no reason. I just can't _help_ it. I've had to restrain myself all day from snapping and thank God you came in when you did." He paused for a breath before finishing. "I'm just really glad you're here."  
 When he looked up at Michael, his heart almost stopped. Michael was looking at him with such _adoration_. Before he could react he was enveloped in his arms, practically crushed against Michael. Almost instantly (instinctually), Jeremy wrapped his arms around Michael. He buried his face in the crook of his neck and just _basked_ in the moment.  
 "I love you, buddy." He heard and felt Michael whisper against his hair.  
 "I love you, too." Jeremy whispered back, lifting himself up to look at him. After staring into Michael's eyes for a bit, Jeremy replaced his face in the crook of his neck. After shifting a bit so they could both be more comfortable, they just sat in the corner of the cafeteria not speaking. Just...thinking. Quietly.  
 When the bell rang to signify the lunch period ending, they both jumped sky high.  
 "Fuck," Michael whispered. "I almost forgot school was actually a thing. Goddammit."  
 Jeremy laughed and smiled for the first time that day. "Oh, come on, dude. How could you possibly forget Hell? It's impossible."  
 "Maybe for the pessimists like you, but I, a great optimist, have hope. Hope that I will someday forget all this shit." Since Jeremy's smile was practically infectious, Michael was smiling, too.  
 Before they departed for the next classes, they made plans to meet up at Jeremy's to hang out and just forget the world. As Jeremy watched Michael walk away, he smiled softly.  
 Maybe he could get through the next four periods without killing someone.

**Author's Note:**

> So this is the first fanfic I've actively decided to write and I'm honestly satisfied with it? I also felt like venting a bit so sorry, Jeremy, you get my AWESOME feelings. And I want these boyfs to be romantic, but it's honestly all up to you to decide, I couldn't care less. My ace-aro ass loves to tell people I love them. Also, the teen rating was mostly for the swearing (I'm not exactly sure how to rate shit so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ ).


End file.
